Through the other side - nearly!!

So, now I am 4 months the other side of my 50th birthday and feeling a little better. The sense of imminent doom has lifted. I do have moments when for a day or so it comes back, but then that is to be expected. But the intensity of these times I find so overwhelming that my gut reaction is to flee them, one way or another, Which I very often do. Any sort of distraction will do, TV, computer, poker, drink, the list goes on.