Retreat Return

So I have returned, refreshed. What a pleasant experience. It was conducted on a Franciscan Friary, which upon entering I immediately felt myself relax and feel totally at home.
I am not sure that I had a very concrete idea of what I wanted from it. However I found myself very focused on ACIM, with ease.
After a group session - where we were told that that the focus was on the symbiotic relationship of forgiveness, my forgiveness is yours and yours is mine - I retired to my room to read and focus on a lesson. The intention was to stay with lesson 132 that I have been with for a good while now. However I found myself listening to lesson 125 "In quiet I receive Gods word today" So as synchronicity appeared to be at work, I went with it. It could not have been clearer.
What was I to hear? Up came the fear that I would be asked to do something painful or frightening. Then immediately I get a voice reminding me that I will never be asked to do anything that would engender fear. I was focused on the form not content.

Next day, found myself drawn to The Voice for God (P75) which linked in with my lesson. Then drawn to "The Fear of Redemption" (P242) linking nicely in with my resistance.
In the morning session found myself talking with someone about our resistance to returning to the outside world. I then found myself being aware of how small I had made myself. Remembered the words "There is nothing outside of myself".
Lesson 169 was read out. "By Grace I Live. By Grace I am released" There it was again, the nudge towards opening, trust and letting go.
In the afternoon found myself disturbed by the recounting of my discovery of my "I am a mistake". Obviously touched on something as I found myself getting con fussed.
Then I get T 14:4:5.1 "Before you make any decisions for yourself, remember that you have decided against your function in heaven, and consider carefully whether you want to make decision here. Your function here is to only decide against what you want, in recognition that you do not know".

The last day I have in the forefront of my mind the thought "I am not ready". Symbolised by resistance to going home.

There were a lot of thing tying in with each other, which felt easy and relaxed. Almost an effortless process, for which I am very grateful.

Now the real challenge to stay with it in the outside world.