Flying

Well one of my birthday gifts was a flight in a bi-plane. Mixed emotions, at one extreme total fear and conviction of my inability to actually do it. Then the joy an exhilaration when up there.

I have flown in the past in a Cessna, but this beats those experiences and the first thought upon landing was that I wanted to be back up.

It was not as if I did not have moments of fear when up there because I did. But they were easily out-weighed by the the positive feelings.

I used to love reading Richard Bach books. Partly because of his love and passion for flying, which he conveyed so wonderfully in his writings. I am sure being in the open cockpit contributed to the sense of freedom I had.

Quote

“I don't kill flies but I like to mess with their minds. I hold them above globes. They freak out and yell, 'Whoa, I'm way too high!' ”

BRUCE BAUM

50

So it has finally hit, my 50th birthday. The last year has been painful and is not even over yet. The inner turmoil is like nothing I have experienced before. As I have become more aware of the void and my true nature, I have become even more aware of the frailty and impermanence of this shell and how it is in truth nothing. However I still have to live this illsionary life and that appears to create an inner conflict. How do I reconcile both worlds? Answer - I do not. They cannot be, as one of then does not really exist. The sense of discomfort comes from the illusion and any thing I do to resolve it is putting my attention on the wrong way. On the illusion. So where do I put it? Who puts it somewhere else? In the Course in Miracles it says that we have a decision maker. The part that decides separation or truth. Who is this decision maker? How do I recognise him?