I loose the world from all I thought it was.

I was dwelling on this lesson the other night. It is number 132 in A Course in Miracles. Being aware of how anything I percieve is illusionary and how hard I work at making it real and important. When suddenly, I get a momentry sense of loosing this world I believe in. It was a beautiful sense of release. Then just as suddenly I find a huge wave of fear rise up, fear of being totaly lost to this emense space.

This is sumed up in this piece from the lesson -
There is no world! This is the central thought the course attempts to teach. Not everyone is ready to accept it, and each one must go as far as he can let himself be led along the road to truth. He will return and go still farther, or perhaps step back a while and then return again.
I had that sense of back and forth. A step along the road - Yes then no and a step back. But at least I got a glimps. Of both the release but also the huge bank of fear that holds all this dear and will do whatever it can to hold on to it.

So how do I treat it? How do I relate to it? Forgiveness, remember it is as much part the illusion as anything. In truth there is no fear. No matter how big I experience it, and this was big.

So now I find myself stuck with this lesson at the moment. It is staying with me effortlessly and for that I am gratful.